


aokigahara

by chumpi



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Aokigahara, Depressed Tyler Joseph, Japanese Suicide Forest, Multi, Sad Tyler Joseph, Suicidal Tyler Joseph, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 03:58:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chumpi/pseuds/chumpi
Summary: Tyler walks into the forest with one, single intent.Josh Dun finding him there is certainly not something he had anticipated.





	aokigahara

Tyler didn’t really know what he was doing in the forest. He and Josh had come to Japan on their world tour, the new album was getting a lot of love and there were many supportive fans around, but, it wasn’t enough, he supposes. Everything was too loud and too quiet at the same time, overwhelming and underwhelming all at once. Nothing made sense to him anymore and he just wanted everything to stop, and when he’d found out about the Aokigahara Forest, it seemed perfect. Everything he had ever wanted, squeezed into a single forest to use at the world's disposal. Tyler would be able to slip away from Josh when the man was distracted, and then he’d be gone. Finally, forever. 

 

However, with each shaky step, his confidence seemed to drain from his body like the sap leaking eerily from the disheartening, winding trees. His heart jack-hammered against his delicate rib cage, the thin hairs on the back of his neck rose dangerously like the hackles of a dog and the feeling of fear felt like melting tallow underneath the thick layers of skin encasing his body like a protective bubble. His breathing quickened and his hand tightened around the bottle of pills he held securely against his chest. The forest seemed to be closing in on him, like the walls of the world were slowly caving inwards and constricting around him, squeezing his fragile body till the air was pushed from his lungs and his structure went limp. 

 

But really, the aspect of dying had never, _seriously_ scared him before, he had just, accepted the fact, really, because what was he meant to do other than quicken the pace? One day he would be dead and he couldn’t stop it, although he could speed up the waiting process. Instead of dying a tearful day later into his older life, he could just go away now, quietly and peacefully. 

 

Although now he’s actually here, walking through a dense forest stained red with the many strings lost souls had brought with them, just left there to rot, tied around thick tree trunks, made the situation much more complicated than he had thought. More queries and possibilities of ways this could go, or _be_ the wrong move. 

 

His mind subconsciously flickered towards Josh, his bandmate, his best friend, his _soulmate._ Tyler loved the other man with all of his heart, he’d use everything he had just to help Josh in times of need. But it wasn’t like he could ever confess that, he had to swallow down his feelings and pretend like everything would be okay because Josh had Debby and Debby had Josh. They were the perfect couple, they thought so, the fans thought so, hell, even Tyler thought so. He couldn’t ruin that for his best friend by just confessing his feelings. He couldn’t. So, that’s why he came out to the forest. Nobody to stop him, or tell him what he was doing is wrong, or uncalled for. He can be himself and finally let go of the ropes that bind him to the cruel world.

 

Tyler walked for another five minutes, his shoulders brushing against stray branches and he _swore_ that he felt something wet running down his flushed cheeks, not that he paid it any mind. Crying was for the weak, his mother had always told him as he broke down after school, even after the toughest days he still had to shoot 500 hoops to eat dinner, most nights he went to bed hungry, and it had always hurt, and he had always cried. But his mother’s words still rang throughout his mind whenever the act of crying occurred. _“Don’t cry, Tyler, you’re not a girl are you?” She had asked him, an eyebrow raised and a cold hand pressed against his flushed, wet cheeks. He’d replied with a shake of his head and a choked up sob._ But now, he feels as if he deserves to cry; as if it’s finally one of his rights. Maybe his mother would be calling him a girl from wherever she is, but he just needs to feel the salty tracks tumbling down his pale cheeks as if they would anchor him to reality.

 

Tyler’s hands shook nervously as he unscrewed the lid of the bottle. It was now or never, he thought to himself as the pills scattered into the sweaty palm of his hand. He could swallow them now, lie down on the mossy ground and be lulled to sleep by the whistle of the wind and the sounds of the birds singing in the trees. A peaceful way to end a sad story. His life was like a book, and sometimes Tyler wished he could flick through the pages, editing things here and now, just to change and shape the way he was. To fix himself, in a way.

 

He’s about to do it too; when there’s a sudden, sharp sound of the snap of a twig behind him and he’s spinning around only to be face to face with, well, surprise, surprise, it’s Josh. The one and only, with his bright red hair, just dull enough to not be classed as ‘neon’, but bright enough to not be associated with ‘crimson’, with his piercings varying in shapes and sizes and his tight clothes, showing off his perfect body and perfect ways. Perfect, that’s what Josh Dun is, Tyler thinks to himself with a tight smile.

 

“Ty,” Josh breathed out, sounding worried and thankful all at once; as if he doesn’t know how he should feel in this sort of situation (and Tyler gets it, he does). “You disappeared man,” He paused again; as if choosing his next words as carefully as possible. “Nobody could find you, not even Jenna, and then I _finally_ came across the note you left and I got so worried and we tracked your phone here, there’s a whole search team out here looking for you, and Ty, please, just say _something._ ”  
Tyler knew the note he was talking about, he’d decided to leave a few vague words on a crumpled piece of paper for Josh (or anyone really) to find. 

 

He, of course, hadn’t expected them to work it out so quickly, or even notice he’d been gone. He hadn’t meant for it to be like this, he just wanted to be alone and in peace. Tyler didn’t need a reminder of what he was going to leave behind. He didn’t need it to be like _this._

 

“Josh,” he murmured, the name was choked out from the back of his raw throat and he couldn’t bear to look the other man in the eye. “Josh you need to- you need to go, I can’t do this with you here and watching, please.” He admitted, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes and willing for the usually vibrant man to accept and make his leave.

 

But of course, Josh shook his head, “I’m not going to leave you, Ty. Not now, and not ever.” 

 

Tyler looked upwards, till he and Josh had eye contact again, this was it. He had to do this, Tyler reminded himself as if as a reassurance, as he brought his hand up towards his mouth and swallowed the pills dry. They were hard and scratchy, practically clawing their way down his throat as he tilted his head back to force them down. 

 

The last thing he really remembers is Josh surging forwards, his arms outstretched and a loud cry falling from his pretty pink lips. 

 

Josh doesn’t go to Tyler’s funeral. He doesn’t think he’d be able to handle it, seeing the world mourn for the young singer over news outlets and social media’s is already too much a funeral with Tyler’s grieving friends and family? No thank you. He does feel guilty at first, but really, he thinks Tyler would understand if he was here now. 

Sometimes he imagines Tyler is still with him, sat next to him with their hands intertwined and Tyler’s head resting on Josh’s broad shoulder, the younger man’s fluffy hair ticking the underside of his chin. Josh imagines that Tyler is with him now, as he holds a gun to his head, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay.

 

Because Tyler was Tyler and Josh was Josh. They had to be together for the world to continue spinning.

**Author's Note:**

> i hated the ending last time lol, soo here


End file.
